A Day Out {Haruka}

For most the weekends were a time for teenagers to hang out with their friends, go see a movie, and go to the beach for a swim, especially now that it was warm out. This was, of course, for normal teenagers, and Kyoya Ootori was not a normal teenager. Generally his weekends were filled with Tamaki attempting to come up with some sort of plan for all of them to do together. Either it was "go surprise Haruhi" or "go to the commoner's market" and one point he had suggested they go to the public beach. How ridiculous that blonde haired boy could be sometimes, and yet at the same time it was hard to stay too upset at him. He was almost like a little kid at times. Annoying, yet innocent. That, of course, tended to annoy Kyoya even more than Tamaki calling him "Mommy". How the hell did that name even come into existence within the club?

Without any plans for hanging around the other Host Club members, Kyoya was surprised at how much he had actually been able to get done concerning the club and some work that his father had asked him to complete concerning the business. There were only a few more things to take care of, mainly coming up with a new theme for the next Host Club party, and Kyoya had decided that he had spent enough time inside the house. With the weather as warm and calm as it was, there was no reason as to why he couldn't be outside. Even Kyoya enjoyed being outside when the weather was nice, as long as he wasn't having to do some kind of labor anyway.

Dressed in a simple, black button up shirt and a pair of dark brown trousers, Kyoya walked down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace. Upon leaving the house, his father had asked why he wasn't taking the car. The answer was simple; because it was a nice day out, he merely wished to enjoy it as much as he could, and that was difficult when sitting inside of a car. Unsure whether his father was disappointed by his actions, Kyoya could honestly say that he didn't really care at this point. Of course his father's opinion mattered when it came to important matters, such as his school marks and and anything that involved surpassing his brothers, but his father wasn't going to get horrible upset over his youngest son walking to the park.

Originally, he hadn't really planned on going to the park because he thought it might be crowded, but his sister, Fuyumi made an excellent point. "With it being such a beautiful and warm day outside, most people will be at the beach. Not many are going to be at the park when they could be swimming." Kyoya had tapped his chin with a slim finger, nodding in agreement and acknowledging that she was indeed probably correct. He had asked if she wished to come along, especially since their father had done nothing all that day but give her side glances and small scowls.

The park was indeed empty of all life except for three people. It was a young couple with a child that couldn't have been more than two or three years old. From this distance it was impossible to distinguish the child from being either a boy or girl, though Kyoya could care less. Pushing his glasses further up his nose, the tall teenager took a seat at a stone table and pulled his black notebook out from under his arm, flipping it open to the page he needed without missing a beat. Pulling his silver pen from the page, Kyoya began to write ideas down swiftly, calculating the costs as he went.

The afternoon sun glanced off of his slim framed glasses, the glare hiding his onyx eyes from public view, and he absently ran a hand through his hair, immediately flattening it back down, all without raising his pen from the notebook. Even though he may not have been in school, appearances were still important. It was best not to look as if he just woke up whilst out in public since one never knew when an acquaintance of his or his father's could pass by.

Words:: 725...woohoo!
Tagged:: Haruka
Notes:: Kyoya is my new favorite charrie lol

Haruka watched her little brother playing calmly along the swing set in the backyard with a pensive look on his face as the twelve-year old concentrated fully on his newest video game. Smiling to herself, the girl made sure a nursemaid was nearby before she turned and called to her mum that she was going to take a walk. There was a bit of a hubbub as the maids and servants all questioned where she was going, why and what she could possibly need that they could not go with her to get. After a few minutes of polite refusal, explanation and many curtsies Haruka managed to escape the manor and finally found herself at the front door. As she stepped outside, Haruka’s feet instinctively seemed to take her to the place where she so often went when either stressed or always most content. A place in which she’d played many times throughout her childhood with none other than her best friend who, now, couldn’t stand her presence any more than she could stand his.

Yes, Haruka hadn’t spoken with Kyoya in quite awhile now. Long before she’d switched schools that year that much was certain and the year was almost drawing to a close. Haruka worried. She worried, stressed, cried, fret - she did everything one could do to show affection or concern for someone not was currently within their presence. She did it and she did it all unconsciously. When Haruka cried, she didn’t often relate the trivial aspect that had upset her back to Kyoya and the emotions he’d stirred within her at their last meeting. She didn’t attribute her current emotions to having been pushed over the edge by those previous ones aroused by Kyoya. Everything happened unconsciously for Haruka. At least one of the benefits, or possibly detriments, about going to a different school was that she didn’t have to see him daily therefore not forcing the girl to be in the same room nor within the same vicinity as the boy which whom she was fighting. Hence the reason why she’d not come to an understanding with him was evident. It saddened the girl and after so long, the fire that had struck up the argument had weakened. All she wanted now was to hug him and beg that aniki make everything go away with the magic wave of his hand and a scribble in that little black notebook of his just as he had so many time in the past.

As she was approaching the park, Haruka spotted very few people there despite the fact that it was such a nice day out. She wondered where everyone could be on this brilliantly sunny day then figured that many were probably at the market or the beach or some other place equally as nice. Of the few people there, Haruka didn’t recognize any of them really upon a single glance. Upon second glance though, the girl recognized a familiar tall figure with glasses and dark hair pouring over nothing less than a little black notebook just as usual with a concentrative, serious and contemplative look on his face.

“Kyoya…” Haruka exclaimed softly. The first recognition had sparked nothing but excitement but a few seconds later the bitter resentment that had been knotting her stomach over the past year managed to creep its way into her system making the red head’s insides churn. No. She wasn’t going to be like this. Shaking her head, Haruka began to make her way over to Kyoya were he sat at a small table. As she approached, the girl smiled cheerfully though not all the best to her sincerity.

“Kyoya-senpai,” she greeted heartily. The usual term of -kun that she’d often used throughout their childhood didn’t manage to quite slip from Haruka’s lips causing a moment of hesitation for the girl. “How are you, I haven’t seen you forever.” This was silly. It was Kyoya! The only person Haruka had adopted as something of an older brother - as her aniki. He was there, albeit not on the best terms with her at the moment, but still tangibly there. At that thought, excitement, however short lived, began to build up inside the girl’s small body and Haruka grinned going over to hug the boy tightly from behind just as she often had in the past.

“Whatcha doing?” she asked nosily looking over the Kyoya’s shoulder. Getting into old habits would be the easiest way to get over the fight. Right? Right. Releasing him, Haruka plopped into the seat beside Kyoya, well she didn’t plop - Haruka never actually plopped any more - but rather seated herself beside the boy and watched him quietly with an innocent look on her face. She was in such a good mood for having been able to simply greet Kyoya in the way she would have normally that the girl couldn’t have cared less what his actual reaction was. Haruka was just content that he’d tolerated her presence thus long.

When I hold my hand above the flame
When I hold my breath beneath the wave
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Kyoya wasn't necessarily one to get lost in thought. It always looked as if he was paying attention to everything that was happening around him, but in reality he was always sure of his surroundings, who was there, and what was going on. Always. Except for today. His hand and part of his brain still worked methodically, calculating and writing, but part of his mind was focused on the past, a time the Kyoya didn't often visit. It probably had something to do with his surroundings. He hadn't been to the park alone in some time, and without the usual distractions of Tamaki or the twins action, well Kyoya's mind wouldn't mind wouldn't stop slipping back in time. The park had been one a favorite hangout for himself and Haruka when they had been children, and even when the two had been in middle school, but those days had been rare. By that time she had her friends and Kyoya...well Kyoya had Tamaki, not that it really had counted for much at that point in time.

His dark eyes shifted up, gazing at the young couple and their child again, watching for brief seconds until he realized that his hand had stopped. Looking back down, Kyoya was dismayed to find that he was no longer able to continue on. If forced, the teenager could easily come up with the expenses and possible profits, but there was no way that he could possibly come up with anymore ideas for the club. Not with his mind still forcing itself to go back and think about Haruka. Kyoya could care less about the fact that she had been transferred to Lobelia, after all, the decision had been that of her father's, not her's. But upon hearing that she had joined the Zuka Club, who had made it quite obvious that they wanted nothing more than to bring the Host Club down, it was safe to say that Kyoya had been more than a little peeved.

Letting out a small "huff", Kyoya returned his eyes back to the open notebook, but as he did so there was a flash of red and he froze. There weren't too many that had red hair, but was it really possible to have her show up just after he had been thinking about her? Of course it is. After all, you both use to come here on a regular basis and her house is just as close as yours, part of his brain told him. Even after this fact, Kyoya didn't want to believe it. Without bothering to look up, Kyoya began to write in his notebook once again, but his mind wouldn't concentrate. He could see a figure coming towards the bench he was sitting at, and it wasn't until his name was uttered from her lips.

He gazed up at her for a brief moment, silent as she asked how he was. His lips pursed slightly before he went to answer, but she suddenly ran around behind him and wrapped her small arms around his back and peered over his shoulder. Instinctively, Kyoya almost closed the book. She was still a Zuka Club member, she was still in the group that was attempting to take down the Host Club, yet he knew her. Leaving the book open, Kyoya turned his head to watch as she sat herself down next to him.

Kyoya couldn't help but notice how she didn't use "kun" like she use too, and he pushed his glasses up again. Part of him wanted to just...talk...surprisingly enough, and yet, what was the point? "Hello Haruka-chan," Kyoya said, using the term he used most often when they had been going to school together. "And how are things with the Zuka Club?" he asked, immediately turning the would be decent conversation into troubled waters.

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STATUS Done!!
NOTES Mer...I got a migraine half way through so sorry if it's a little choppy!!
WORDS 658!!
TAGGED Haruka!!
CREDIT Kazu!!

Haruka sat quietly still thinking over her actions of just a moment ago. Kyoya was still as thin and tall as he’d always been and he still dwarfed her even by just sitting there; that much was obvious to the petite red-head. Surprisingly though, the feel of him under her small arms hadn’t felt as unfamiliar and abhorrent to her as Haruka would have thought after everything that had happened. It was still Kyoya-kun through and through no matter what horrible things he might say at times. The next few words that did manage to slip from his lips though pierced the young girl and Haruka almost flinched at the nonchalant and obviously bored tone he addressed her in.

“T-the Zuka Club?” she stuttered momentarily not grasping the concept he was inquiring about. Oh. That. Them. Haruka’s stomach knotted again, this time more with anxiety than anything else, and she swallowed a lump that had unconsciously built up chocking the girl and her vocal chords. “Oh, well…things are fine I guess. How about you? Is the Host Club doing alright these days?” An evidently forced smile managed to slip its way across Haruka’s pale visage before slipping away just as easily.

How boring. Conversations about their rivaling clubs could never do so much as cause a few bored words passed back and forth that would end up later being the basis of an objective argument. To this very day, Haruka couldn’t care less about the Host Club nor whether they stayed together or disbanded. She’d really only joined the Zuka’s to piss Kyoya off because, at the time, she’d been more than just annoyed with the boy and would have done anything to ultimately cause him dismay. Now, her choice had reflected poorly on Haruka and the girl wished more than anything she’d not joined because, more than likely, had she not joined, Haruka would have been sitting here on equally friendly terms with Kyoya as ever before. She’d have been poking him, pestering about the ominous little black notebook, squirming in her seat out of excitement to tell him some random news she’d learned that had absolutely no consequence whatsoever in the world - all these things Haruka would have done but could not do because she’d made a stupid choice.

Deciding to change the subject and continue on her normal façade, Haruka placed her elbows on the table figuring a more cautious approach might poke Kyoya in the side and make him open up a tad. Reverting to another close but more direct topic might even work. She was willing to try despite the fact it could shatter their momentary peace. “So I guess you’re still miffed that I joined the Zuka’s huh?” she squeaked quietly. Haruka didn’t know why she’d said that. She couldn’t fathom it one bit. Yet…that just seemed like the best thing to say because it would either open up a civil conversation or spark the nasty words that were bound to flow on both sides sooner or later. No point in beating around the bush. ……Though she’d rather have had a few moments peace pretending it was normal. No, that would have been torture. Pretending to be on friendly terms with Kyoya again after so long? She’d yearned for it quite awhile now and pretending was bound to bring about tears and nothing more.

Tears. Weakness. Abhorrence to both. A common factor that Haruka shared with Kyoya since their youngest days. The red head hated crying because it showed weakness. Weakness meant surrendering or submission, both of which she couldn’t stand to bear witness to or exhibit especially to Kyoya no matter what circumstances, good or bad, they held between them. Horribly enough, tears were easily brought about for the girl though. Just the way her cheeks burned red at the tiniest, slightest provocation - her eyes watered at even the most common of jests when it came from someone for whom she held high regard or loved.

Loved? Where had that word come from? Surprised at the path her own thoughts had taken, Haruka’s eyes widened slightly and the girl turned her head away blushing, there was the provocation, to gaze at the trees as a slight wind blew a few strands of red hair around. Loved. Well Haruka guess it was true in a way. She did love Kyoya but more so as a brother than anything else. For now…or….right? A brother? Yes, he had been the only one she’d ever run to when distressed, told her secrets to and teased mercilessly about everything from girls to adulthood. That was what sisters did didn’t they? Younger ones?

The sun shone brightly above them as Haruka gazed quietly into the grass that lazily swayed by her feet. Loved. The word still swam awkwardly in her mind as if poking its true meaning in her side yet being elusive and evasive of any attempts the girl had at reading the thought. Loved? What did that word mean? It had a thousand meanings. In fact, it had around a hundred different forms in an Eskimo language. But forms didn’t matter and neither did meaning if Haruka couldn’t figure out in what sense it applied to her relationship with Kyoya. Huffily, the girl crossed her arms as the blush brightened and refused to receded even slightly. Why the heck was she blushing? If anything the word love didn’t apply like that! It never would! Never, ever.

Upset with herself at having become so emotional, Haruka frowned and let out a huffy sigh. “Damn hormones.” she muttered darkly. Now that in itself was a surprise to the girl that she would have pondered over had her own feelings of resentment not been so strong. Damn? That was hardly a word the young girl ever used. That and a few other curse words were strictly banned from her vocabulary due to Kyoya-kun’s hatred of her using such language. Right now though that thought didn’t even occur to her and Haruka continued mumbling incoherently to herself about other things. Who cared what he thought anyways. It was his own fault for breathing the same air as her. “Hmph.”

The tiny huff had come out accompanied by a pout that Haruka didn’t even realize she bore. Crossing her arms, the girl shifted uncomfortably in her seat and turned her gaze, still blushing madly, back onto her acquaintance. Only momentarily did she ponder the thought of his having heard her but then it came to Haruka’s realization that, she didn’t care even if he had.

When I hold my hand above the flame
When I hold my breath beneath the wave
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Whether the girl had meant to give anything away by her silence or not was debatable. Either way, Kyoya gleaned quite a bit from her silence, and from the way that she finally mentioned the Zuka Club. It was as if she didn't understand why he would bring them up, especially since they were the entire reason the two childhood friends were in a fight in the first place. Kyoya's reasoning for bringing them up was rather simple really; it gave him the chance to avoid being nice and admitting to himself and Haruka that he wanted the argument to be over and done with. "Yes, the Zuka Club," Kyoya repeated, leaning slightly so that he could rest his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand. The bored expression on his face never left as he returned a answer. "The Host Club is doing rather well. It could just be my imagination, but it seems that we're doing ever better since the Zuka Club continues to fail."

Both of them knew that Kyoya didn't have much of an imagination unless the subject called for blackmail and he couldn't help the small smirk that crossed his features. Being upset over the fight did not stop him from being a sarcastic man, nor did it stop him from purposely attempting to get some sort of reaction from Haruka. If anything, it made him more determined. On the outside, Kyoya seemed the same to everyone. Calm, cool, and maybe a little more sadistic when it came to the matter of feelings and emotions, and for the most part that's because that is how he was. However, everyone has that part of themselves that they attempt to hide, and for Kyoya that part became harder to hide when Haruka-chan was around.

The conversation had turned boring and Kyoya lifted his silver pen once more, doing more calculations in his head and scribbling things down. With the silence a cause of his rather rude comment earlier, the air around them seemed rather tense, but despite this fact, Kyoya pretended not to notice. It would seem that he enjoyed the silence over her talking, even if it wasn't necessarily true. His dark eyes glanced up from the notebook, meaning to only look at her for a brief second as she asked her question, when something attracted his attention. A butterfly rested on Haruka's arm and Kyoya reached out, his finger brushing against her as he lifted the butterfly away. His dark gaze studied the butterfly before his eyes shifted to her. "Miffed? No, I am not miffed, as you so eloquently stated, I am merely at a loss as for your reasons why."

What had been a rather beautiful moment caused by the appearance of the butterfly was once again turned into an ugly situation. With tension in the air, Kyoya knew that he had an upper hand, because even while Haruka may have hated to be seen crying or showing any forms of weakness, the act came rather easily for the girl. It always had, though back when they were children Kyoya had been much more accepting of those actions. Now he would merely find a way to exploit them. I sound like the twins, he thought to himself, watching as the butterfly flew off, leaving the two of them alone again. Catching her movements out of the corner of his eye, Kyoya watched as a blushed deepened against her pale cheeks and he smirked.

"Whatever could be making you blush so, Haruka-chan?" he asked, the feeling behind his question as fake as the smile she had attempted to give him earlier. He was curious as too why she was blushing, though he might be able to figure it out on his own given enough time. "By chance do you need to talk about something that you can't possibly talk to your mother about?" Kyoya continued, arching a brow as he looked at her over the edge of his thing glasses. It had happened often when they were children. Haruka would have something that she desperately needed to ask someone about, and instead of going to her mother, she came to him. With these questions, sometimes embarrassing answers came with them, but at the time Kyoya would have done just about anything for her.

His left eye gave an involuntary twitch at her use of the curse word. Damn...what an uneducated word to use, Kyoya thought, giving her a look that she had received often. "It seems that you still insist on using such a childish and uneducated way of expressing your feelings. I am sure that if you tried then you would be able to express yourself in a manner more appropriate for a lady of you social standing."

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STATUS Finished!!
NOTES none!!
WORDS 925!!
TAGGED Haruka!!
CREDIT Kazu!!

Haruka sat quietly in the uncomfortable silence that had followed Kyoya’s uncalled for and rather rude, though obviously intended as such, comment. It was evident that he was going to continue being petty and immature so long as she did and that, Haruka knew, meant this could go on for years. The thought almost made tears spring to the young girl’s eyes as she thought about years of fighting with Kyoya and never once in that time being able to go to him for comfort, advice or even just quiet company. It was rather a big loss for a child to lose the only older sibling figure they had but generally, at the basis of the fight, there should have been something for her to pounce on and be able to fix the situation with. Sadly, here there was not. For quite awhile now it had been strange for Haruka getting along without Kyoya. In the past she perhaps wasn’t hanging around him like a fly twenty-four seven but he’d been there when she needed it. Now, with real life being what it was, she didn’t even have that.

Many times in the past year Haruka had struggled with the same general concept too. Real life and books, many a thing she often filled her head with and had her nose pressed in, differed greatly. In a novel, a book, a short story - things often worked out with happily ever afters. Something would happen along the way through a nasty feud between friends in which suddenly, they both would realize they needed each other more than they were willing to fight things out. That situation was lovely and perfect in every sense - if only it was realistic. Haruka would gladly at any moment put aside any of her odd differences with Kyoya but she knew that he was the less merciful and far more grudge bearing of the two whilst she was the least inclined to be at all submissive. With an uncomfortable shuffle, Haruka’s cheeks continued to burn especially as he lifted a butterfly from her arm where it had come to rest.

The butterfly was blue winged with a dark little body and black legs. The way it had settled so easily on Kyoya’s fingertips momentarily flashed Haruka back to a time in the past and a hazy memory bloomed forth.

“Kyo-kun?” little five year old Haruka turned with curious eyes to her best friend. “Why are bugs so scary?” she’d asked. “I mean, ladybugs and butterflies are so pretty yet they’re all creepy and crawl and gross.” The swing had swayed back and forth as the girl pumped her legs and her long red hair had rocked along with it. The answer had been simple yet Kyoya had gone into a long intricate explanation as to why things where the way they were and explained in full detail the anatomy of a butterfly. Since that day Haruka had learned not to be afraid of them as she sat in awe of Kya-kun. All other bugs, especially ladybugs, she still screamed and hid at the sight of but butterflies were different. They were special.

Now at the soft feeling of his fingers brushing against her bare skin, Haruka moved her arm away and frowned slightly. So he said he wasn’t upset. Alright, that was fair enough to say to someone who hadn’t known him practically since infancy. The lie covered his genuine curiosity and masked everything Haruka knew to most likely be swirling around in Kyoya’s mind. With a shaky sigh, the girl’s face contorted to an innocent look of pain both for herself and for him. She was slightly insulted that he was trying so hard to lie and cover things up but she also felt sorry both for herself, obviously, and Kyoya for the obvious negativity that was inflicted upon both parties in this argument. She could take the blame. All of it, apologize, quit the Zuka’s and be done - but that wasn’t how Haruka operated and she knew Kyoya wouldn’t forgive her that easily anyways. Haruka hated submission even to someone she cherished as a brother and her sharp temper mixed with what would be a nasty streak of obstinacy in her character would never allow it. Besides, it wasn’t only her fault. He’d been the one to take the highroad and accuse her of moving when Haruka hadn’t had a fair say at all since the beginning. Bottom line, her father was to blame but neither of them would acknowledge that preferring to blame the other. It was just more convenient that way rather than going through all the trouble of expressing apology.

At his next question, Haruka was surprised slightly. “Why?” she repeated contemplatively. “You know very well why and you also know that I can catch you in your act of lying. Kyoya-kun I understand your feelings and respect them seeing as I have generally the same ones in regard of your person right about now, but must you go through all the trouble of lying and acting as if you couldn’t care less? We both know you do and it isn’t much of a highlight to your character. I’ve seen how you are with those girls at the Host Club. You have something of a heart no matter how embedded in stone it may be.” The term had come far more easily now, having spent time around him and rekindled something underneath the horrible feelings of resentment and Haruka had been able to call him Kyoya-kun. Whether she meant to or not was a different story. The nicknames were special though in their own way. Kyo-kun, Kya-kun and Kyoya-kun - all chosen on whim depending on the circumstance.

Again Haruka sighed and frowned pettily as he continued speaking. Her cheeks had managed to push the blush far enough away that she’d forgotten it but upon reminder it blared again this time more from anger and annoyance than anything else. “Stop that.” the girl snapped irritably. “I have nothing of consequence to ask the likes of you.” she continued. “I’ve grown and become far more educated in the standings of womanhood and would dare say I’d like to have never asked you in the first place! To think you might have matured; what the compliment I paid you now seeming undeserved.”

Huffily, the girl crossed her arms and turned away still red from irritation and, slightly, embarrassment as another memory flashed through her mind. Pushing it away refusing to recall the specifics of it, Haruka huffed again. At the use of her swear word Kyoya had reacted again just as he had in the past reminding Haruka that he did have a particular distaste for such language. As he spoke, she felt like a child being lectured again bringing forth the feelings of intense sisterly emotions which, could, at times be negative.

Snapping her head back towards him, Haruka glared angrily and leapt to her feet pressing her delicate hands firmly against the tabletop. “You are neither my mother nor my father to have the right to say such things to me.” she retorted hotly. “I can use whatever language it is that I feel appropriate to express my feelings in the regard for whomever the subject may or may not be. If social standing means so much to you anyways, then again I can in return pose the question why are you in fact a member of the Host Club? Miss Haruhi Fujioka is nothing near the social standings of either you or the other members yet you tolerate her presence? I find that quite hypocritical!” The angered ramblings that spilled from Haruka’s mouth were discriminatorily unfair. She knew Haruhi well enough to say the girl was a pleasure to be around and social standings meant squat when around such a person but the occasion had arisen and Haruka had pounced.

Seating herself once more, the girl proceeded to cross her arms again and turn crossly away from Kyoya. The big idiot. He had no right to go around saying such things especially to people with whom he was not in best of lights with nor them his. Her wit wouldn’t do much in form of positive accreditation after a nasty retort as that but Haruka hadn’t been quite in the moment’s mindset to breeze past his obnoxiously obtrusive comments. Kyoya had always been semi-distant but to say such things as if they were in complete peace after having evidently rejected any attempts she’d made at being friendly - well it just wasn’t fair. And unfairness, no matter how petty, Haruka couldn’t stand for. At least not quietly.

Having worked herself up rather more than anything, Haruka contemplated getting up and going over to the swings and leaving Kyoya to his own horrible self. The idea was fairly appealing yet for some reason the girl didn’t quite want to. It was silly for her to think or feel so after having been so genuinely offended but Haruka didn’t mind. In many ways she was still as naïve as a puppy and didn’t always fully understand everything that her teenaged body might be feeling. That was yet another reason why not being with Kyoya was so hard. He’d always helped her feel like she knew what was happening even without saying a word and even if she was clueless. Kyoya was just Kyoya and no matter the ill humour that might pass between friends - he would always be irreplaceable.

[word count, 1,725. :3 I don't know about some of the stuff in there - I kinda just made it up as I went along. If you don't like something just tell me to change it and I'll gladly do so. Hopefully the next time I see you I can warn you first. xD]

When I hold my hand above the flame
When I hold my breath beneath the wave
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Kyoya brought the notebook up so that it was no longer on the table and he supported the back with one hand while the other continued to write. Actually, the boy was no longer writing anything down for the Host Club, nor was his mind focusing on what he had come out to do, which was why he had moved the notebook. The last thing he needed or wanted was for Haruka to look over and realize that she had succeeded in distracting him from his work. He had no intention of giving her the satisfaction of knowing such information. Pretending to write was harder than it looked, especially since one had to concentrate and make sure that the pen was moving how they wanted it to, and it seemed to take more work than just writing down nonsensical things. However, Kyoya was not about to write down something that had no meaning to what it was that was on the page. Instead he merely closed the notebook, slipping his silver pen inside, and set it down, being careful to make sure that it wasn't crooked. This is not a sign of giving up, he told himself, but merely an opportunity to give you time to think.

Her arm moved away from him when his fingers had brushed against her skin and he allowed a small frown to cross his features. It didn't last long, however, and his mask of boredom and uncaring replaced everything else. But why did it bother him so that she moved away? Maybe things were just that bad between the two, or maybe he was reading far too much into the situation. Kyoya had the tendency to do such things, and while it didn't happen often with the Host Club, he found himself over analyzing Haruka's actions, and more recently his father's actions. Remembering the day that he had found out Haruka was being moved to Lobelia, Kyoya knew that he had acted rather childish, immediately accusing her of wanting to move to the all girl's school. Even though she had made the attempt to tell him otherwise, Kyoya hadn't really listened. At that point he had already made up his mind, and nothing was going to change it.

"My act of lying?..." Kyoya muttered out loud in a quiet tone. It was true that he was lying about not being upset, after all the Zuka Club was trying to bring them all down, and frankly he had no intention of allowing that to happen. Especially since it would prove to his father that his youngest son was in no position to be able to run the company. "Now wha-" the rest of his sentence was cut off by the continuation of Haruka's rant, and to say that he was surprised would have been describing his feeling mildly. In fact, at this point Kyoya did find himself somewhat miffed, for lack of a better word. He allowed her to continue, watching her with an expression that spelled out "annoyance" rather clearly. When it was clear that she was finished, Kyoya continued to sit there, his chin resting on his fist, and he studied her carefully.

"You should know better than anyone that I have no feelings towards those girls. The way I act is just that, an act," he began, emphasizing the word as if to bring to it more importance. "Said act is merely a way for me to allow the Host Club to continue and prove that I can run a business no matter what." It was hard to keep the childish tone from his voice. It wasn't everyday that your childhood friend informed you that you were acting. While it may not have been obvious to others that he was being anything other than analytical, to Haruka (and Tamaki at the worst of times), it was still obvious that he was making an attempt to not sound like a child.

"Hm, you could have fooled me," Kyoya told her, an eyebrow arched once again as her reaction unfolded. At the time that certain discussion had been embarrassing on both ends, though he had answered to the best of his abilities. Now it was nothing more than a way for him to remind her just how much she use to depend on him. Kyoya would never admit that he had depended on her presence just as much, if not more so. "If you have become so well educated when it comes to womanhood, then you wouldn't have any problems discussing said subject, now would you?" This form of teasing, it wasn't something that he was quite use to doing, yet it still seemed to come naturally for him. The twins certainly have made their mark, he thought for the second time that day.

At Haruka's sudden outburst, Kyoya leaned away slightly, more so that he could continue to look at her, but he did wonder if the couple was still around. Curious, he turned his head and watched as said couple began to take their child towards their car, and every other step or so one of them would look back at the pair. "You certainly know how to make a scene," he commented, "which must mean you fit in rather well with the other Zuka Club members. They all seem to be well versed in acting and embarrassing themselves in public." His tone was harsh and sharp, cutting through her words quickly.

Unable to help himself, Kyoya's eyebrow twitched slightly at the insult to Haruhi. Not only had he grown fond of having the girl around (not that he would admit it), but he was relatively sure that Haruka had been relatively close to her. Pushing up his glasses, Kyoya shook his head slowly, like an adult would to a child who didn't understand. "And that is where you have it wrong. You see, Miss Fujioka owes the Host Club for breaking the vase. If it weren't for that incident then she would still be wearing the same baggy clothing with the rugged hair, and no one would pay her any attention. And that includes you." It was true, however horrible and unfair it sounded. If Haruhi had not broken the vase then she never would have set off a chain of events that would have impacted every single one of them. None of them would even know of her existence, other than to refer to her as the girl (or boy, due to her appearance) that received the scholarship.

He wondered if Haruka was going to walk away, and if she did, what would he do? Probably just remain where he was, pretending not to care that the gap between them very well could have stretched further. However, she sat down again, arms crossed and her body turned away from him. He could apologize. Just say the two words that could at least begin the process of healing their friendship, but why should he be the first to do so? It was true that he was the reason their conversation had turned so nasty, after all Haruka had been cheery upon first seeing him, even going so far as to hug him. He let out a small, nearly inaudible huff. Damn girls. They were so complicated.

------------------------------------------------------------------

STATUS finished
NOTES >.< meh, it rambles a little. But I made him a hypocrite at the end :3
WORDS 1,238
TAGGED Haruka
CREDIT Kazu

Haruka had glanced down at her hand after moving it as Kyoya’s slight frown caught her attention. Had she been wrong to move away from him? Had the slight action made her seem like she was closing up to him? If not, then her later rant certainly would. The frown was gone before she could really think about it though and Haruka let her face slip into an unhappy frown of her own. Frustrating boy.

Kyoya’s rather evident enunciation though in his next point suddenly made Haruka’s spirits sink further ever so slightly. Despite the childish tone he was evidently failing to hide from her, Haruka was caught off guard. An act. She knew it and she knew he knew that she knew it. Very clearly too for they’d gone over this before and cleared up any confusion. Haruka couldn’t remember why or what exactly had spurred on that conversation, perhaps a joke or tease, not jealousy surely but perhaps something along the lines of a tease that had bothered him more than she’d meant for it to. Yes, that was it. Either way, Haruka knew very clearly that Kyoya did only act when he was with the Host Club and entertaining his guests. It had been rather an intriguing comfort to the red head at the time, it still was if she really thought about it, but Haruka couldn’t be too sure that Kyoya wasn’t just acting all of the time anymore. What if he’d met someone in between all those guests. She knew it was unlikely that he would ever let feelings get in the way of this club that she knew the boy though of nothing more than business but then again…had she ever expected such horrible resentment to come up between the two of them?

Haruka’s previous comment that had seemed like a simple point before, now began to harbor doubt that gathered in the girl’s mind terribly. She doubted Kyoya’s character would ever recommend him to anyone very easily but there were always ways such as the one that had come up between them. She’d befriended Kyoya because they were together so often as children that it would’ve been stupid to dislike him. Now, if she thought about it reasonably, it was unlikely that anyone else who attended the Host Club would have known Kyoya that long or anything even along those lines but who really knew?! She was a perfect example of the unlikely yet everything was still the same.

By this point Haruka’s head began to spin with so many incoherent and unconceivable thoughts that her spite and jealousy mixed and all clashed with the unknown feelings of resentment and sadness that all seemed to be stashed in a small box labeled ‘Kyoya Ootori’ in the back recesses of her mind. Shutting the box with a snap, Haruka turned her head and a gentle breeze blew her hair back taking her thoughts with it. His acts and lies could all stay bundled up with him. She wanted nothing to do with it. Haruka was so dead set against associating with them anymore that she was about to stand and move to the swings like she’d planned when Kyoya suddenly spoke up again causing her cheeks to enflame once more.

“I don’t have a problem talking about the subject.” she muttered darkly. “I just don’t seem to understand why you refuse to let it go. It’s uncommon for men to like to speak of such subjects unless they have an ulterior motive or are, for lack of a better description, not sexually inclined towards the opposite sex.” she spat. In the past, Haruka remembered teasing Kyoya lightly about being gay but she’d never meant anything by it nor had she particularly wanted to do anything more than make him squirm in discomfort, which he rarely did. This time though, she couldn’t care less how he interpreted her response. They both knew he wasn’t confused but sometimes Haruka did manage to wonder if he was ever sexually inclined towards anyone, or better yet, anything. What with the way he always acted, it was doubtful to someone who didn’t know him and even for those who did - it was still a puzzle.

As the next jab came to poke at her about making a scene and fitting in with the Zuka Club, Haruka could have cried. That had been a rather low blow; both of them knew Haruka hated making a scene of any sort and could be far shyer than imaginable when it came to strangers. Her reluctance to join the Zuka Club in the first place had not been only because of the Hosts but also her own dislike to cause unbecoming attentions or other such negatively special treatment to fall upon her. The reason of all this, only ever once confessed to none other than the ultimately trusted - Kyoya - was that Haruka had always feared she didn’t know how to handle herself in public. That fear was justified to some extent too. Haruka was incredibly naïve when it came to a lot of things and she did tend to have slightly juvenile and immature moments without even so much as realizing it. Hearing these very things come now, indirectly implied or not, from Kyoya, the one person she’d trusted enough to confide in, tore her apart. A glass bell couldn’t have shattered into more pieces than the way her emotional balance was currently breaking apart.

So angered and confused with her own feelings was Haruka that the girl failed to notice Kyoya’s defending of Haruhi. Had she noticed, Haruka could have done nothing but agree ultimately because she did value Haruhi as a great friend. Catching only the last few lines of his defending speech, Haruka was again indignant. “ no one would pay her any attention. And that includes you." How did he know that.

“You don’t know anything about me anymore Ootori-san.” she spat back. “You have no basis to claim what I would or wouldn’t do. You know I would never have made such scenes or fit in with any of the likes of the Zuka Club before, but according to you I’ve changed. Then if I’ve changed, you can in no way claim anything or say anything about me that you don’t know. It isn’t like you,” she continued in what would have been a coy manner had her tone not been so spiteful and vindictive. “But I know you haven’t changed at all. Only facts; no feeling, no heart. No cares as to how you hurt others.” Each emphasized word was spat more and more viciously until Haruka could hardly have thought herself capable of such malice and malevolence. “You wouldn’t even care if right now, I was swept away by a car and landed in the hospital would you? I thought not. I don’t know how many times in the past I stuck up for you against the claims of others that you were cold and heartless and aloof, too prideful to see past the bridge of your own nose. Well I was wrong. I’ll admit it right now, to your face, that I was wrong. I should never have stuck up for you. Had I known this side, the one everybody else saw, the one I was too blinded to see -- I would’ve left your company a long time ago. My only regrets now, are that I didn’t!”

Standing and spinning on her heel, Haruka shook her head and bit her quivering lip as she began to walk away from the table. Her comments spun around the red head’s mind all swirling until she couldn’t bear to listen to them anymore. Every spiteful word that she’d ever thought, said or even considered in the past -- nothing could compare to what she’d just hit Kyoya with. Haruka knew it was unfair, but from her point in all this, it was justified. He deserved to know the truth. He deserved to know what the world thought of him. He deserved to know what she thought of him…because, that was what she thought right? Of course it was. Then why were tears dripping down her cheeks and why did the wind feel so horribly cold?

By this point Kyoya was almost positive that it was a goal all girls had to be completely and totally confusing to everyone around him. She pulls away when his hand brushes against her arm, even though him touching her was completely unintentional, and maybe it was just him, but Haruka looked like she was preparing for something. Kyoya almost decided to change the subject, maybe try talking about something that wasn't in such dangerous waters. However, that would be considered backing down and giving up, neither of which he had ever been good at, and so Kyoya remained like stone with his ever present bored look. The only noticeable change in him may have been the way his shoulders were tensed, how his fingers were clutching at the fabric of his brown pants, or how every now and again there was the slight movement as he bit the inside of his cheek. Kyoya was worried and possibly afraid of what he had a feeling might be coming.

It was obvious that his words had an impact on her, but this in itself was not a surprise. After all, it was rarely that his words didn't have some kind of effect on the person they were directed towards, but somehow this impact seemed different. It was like the calm before the storm, how one could see the black clouds slowly building as they inched forward to cover the land in their dark shadows, and how they just hovered there before for moments before letting loose a torrent of rain. But Haruka didn't just let out a torrent of rain. The first words out of her mouth were like the first few fat rain drops, the ones that you knew were going to get you soaked in a matter of minutes if you were stupid enough not to get inside. But for Kyoya there was nowhere for him to run, no place he could go that would save him from the building storm that Haruka was ready to unleash.

He payed little attention to her comments about his possible sexuality preferences or any possible ulterior motive he may or may not have. Kyoya did not ignore them because he didn't care, but because he knew there was more coming. The teenage boy had pushed too hard, too far, and now he was going to pay the price. Of course somewhere inside him, a part that was momentarily forgotten, was raging inside him about the jab to his motives and his sexuality. He had tried to help her because it had been the right thing to do, because she had come to him, because she had said there was no one else to talk to about it, and now he had ulterior motives for bringing up that particular memory?! How, in the name of all that he knew about finances, did that make any sense to her?! There was something particularly wrong about it all.

It was his words about Haruhi that seemed to be the stressor that finally caused the storm to break. It wasn't just rain that she unleashed, but thunder, lightening, and frightening winds. Even word was like a knife, sinking further in, and while Kyoya knew he had spoken the truth about the relationship they both shared with Haruhi, he actually began to wonder if maybe had misunderstood what he had said. Her tone was thick with anger and spite, two feelings that Kyoya never knew that the young girl could honestly feel. She had always been sweet and kind, no matter what, and he knew that it was his fault she was saying these things. He deserved them too, for as much as it pained him to admit it, and Kyoya reached up, running a hand through his hair, messing up the neatness that was so common for him. It was an old habit that he had as a kid, one that he had thought had been fixed, and yet here he was, ruining him image and all because of an odd feeling that was settling over him.

You wouldn’t even care if right now, I was swept away by a car and landed in the hospital would you? I thought not. Those were the words that nearly paralyzed him. Did Haruka really think that he was that cold? Until Tamaki came along she had always been the one person in his life, besides his sister, who had seen something other than who Kyoya wanted everyone too see, and now she was reverting into the way everyone else saw him. He didn't even bother hiding the hurt in his dark eyes, knowing that it wouldn't have mattered any if he did. After all, she'd probably think it was nothing more than act, never mind the fact that it was a look no one had ever seen in his eyes. Not his father, not his sister, and not Tamaki, who had seen more than his fair share of Kyoya's hidden reactions.

Haruka stood and Kyoya wondered if it was going to be a repeat of the last time, where she would threaten to walk away but ended up staying. Yet at the same time he knew it wasn't true, he knew that she was going to walk away, that he had messed up badly. He could go back home, back to school, back to all of those people who thought they knew him, and he could pretend nothing had happened, that it had once again been another boring day and that no mistakes had been made. Kyoya could let her walk away and force his mind to go back to the black notebook, think up ideas. All of these were normal actions when Kyoya didn't want to think on something that he had done. Before he really knew what he was doing the tall teenager was standing.

His long stride caught up with Haruka and his hand reached out, grabbing her arm to stop her, and all before he had a plan in his normally quick mind. She was going to stare at him like he was an idiot, a cruel, cold, idiot who wouldn't care if she got hit by a car. Too prideful to see past the bridge of your own nose. "I'm sorry." Two words that Kyoya had said only a handful of times to a couple of people came flooding out of his mouth, too fast for him to even think about saying them. Knowing his luck Haruka probably wouldn't believe him, but even though Kyoya was good at a lot of things, acting being one of them, apologies had never come easily. For a guy who thought, no, who knew that he was always right, "sorry" was the same as saying "I was wrong."

Tagged:: Haruka
Words:: just over 1000 I think >.<
Notes:: Poor Kyoya x3

Haruka had seen the look come into Kyoya’s eyes. She’d seen the pain, however false and manifested it was, in his features. But she hadn’t stopped. She hadn’t cared. All his silly little actions that would have previously meant so much to her now seemed like worthless trifles that weren’t significant enough to even cross her mind and initiate any form of analysis. Kyoya was a heartless boy and he deserved nothing, if not to know what she now thought of him. Haruka was relentless in her tongue lashing; something the red head knew she never could have done before if not pushed by someone she truly cared about to the extremes. But now it was over and done and she was on her way away. Far away. Away to a place where she’d never have to see his big ugly face again. That ugly face with its careful, analytical features and hardened eyes that could, at the moments notice, switch to warm pools that would rival a tiny black, new born puppy’s pout - and win. Beneath those eyes the ugly, straight nose he had and firmly pursed lips that could also, without a seconds notice, switch to seep such comforting words that would make one want to hug the owner until you cried.

All these features Haruka had turned her back against and found the ugliest of versions to look upon. She was done with Kyoya and all his acting, mind games and tricks that could fool even the most intelligent and quick witted of people. With this mentality, she was swift in brushing away the tears that dripped down her cheek and skipped up on to the sidewalk main determined not to look back - now or ever - upon this memory and this scene. It came as quite the surprise then as, set in stone as her mind was, the sound of footsteps was heard suddenly approaching with a rapidity and stride that had been all too familiar in the distant past. A grab and snag then sent Haruka spinning and her red hair in a chaotic swivel as she was forced, by the speed and direction of the snatch, to face the very person she’d just moments ago spat daggers at.

Tears still streaming down her face and a frown eminently coming into place on her delicate features, Haruka gazed up at the dark haired teen before her. Thousands of quick witted remarks sprung forth in her mind and buzzed around as the thoughts of ‘jerk off’ and ‘turncoat’ flew by waiting to be shot from her lips. Before Haruka could articulate any of her intricate thoughts though her companion was quick in speaking. His statement came out so quickly in fact that the red head almost didn’t catch it. …Almost. I’m sorry. Those where two words that rarely ever sprung forth from Kyoya’s person and were never a thing to be missed or discarded when they did emerge. This time though, Haruka could only stare with her mouth shut tightly and her eyes searching him for traces of sincerity. There was nothing.

He didn’t mean it. He didn’t care about her anymore. For a moment there, she’d had a glimmer of hope - a small sheet of glass placed over the past few months - but before she could really think it through, the glass had shattered and was gone. They may have been like siblings in the past but even blood relations had their spats that would separate them for years. Who was to say she was any exception to that rule, especially not being related to Kyoya at all. He’d never mean something like that apology anyways considering the circumstances. What had he to gain? The greatest question of all and that takes priority over each and every one of Kyoya’s actions now haunted Haruka. What had the great Kyoya Ootori to gain from apologizing to her? If he meant it with true sincerity - absolutely nothing. If he didn’t mean it and had only apologized to get into her better graces again, then he had the world to gain if not only the intimate acquaintance of another wealthy family in the right circle.

Haruka’s eyes watered again even more heavily. “You lying bastard.” she whispered. There was a pause in silence and then her voice escalated as the pain inside hardened against her once dearest friend and brother. “You traitor! Don’t you dare lie to me! We both know you’re not sorry. You’re apologies don’t mean anything to me or to anyone else because everyone knows that ‘sorry’ translates to ‘I was actually wrong about something for once in my life!’ And you’re never wrong, are you Kyoya?” she spat. Haruka paused not wanting to repeat or spout out another speech about Kyoya’s cold-heartedness, and gazed up to meet those now seemingly emotionless, listening, onyx blazing eyes. She narrowed her own eyes and then slapped harshly away at the hand that was holding onto her before twisting away. “Don’t you touch me either. We have nothing to say anymore.”

Her eyes held a small challenge as if daring the teen to defy her or lie again. Haruka knew that Kyoya would most likely just stand by now and let her leave since he never truly cared. She knew that in the past he had his moments; he had those hissy-fit moments where he’d fight seemingly to the death for something he truly cared about. Or, if Kyoya was pissed off about something badly enough, he’d convince anyone of cannibalism as he ripped their heads off. But this wasn’t one of those times. He wasn’t vain or stupid enough to endanger his pride and reputation, even in front of the trees, to chase after something so insignificant as a slight acquaintance with just another wealthy family. Their parents were close enough that even if he’d wanted it that much, Kyoya still had the fact that the Ootori and Fujisaki families were at least acquainted, if not old friends as much as the public knew.

Turning away for what she presumed was the last time, Haruka gazed at the pavement. “I don’t care enough about anything further you have to say to pay the slightest attention. You’d do best to just leave things the way they are and not try to endanger the situation any more.” she replied finally. With that, Haruka turned her back and wiped her eyes before beginning to again move away from her dearest acquaintance.

Maybe she'll accept the apology. She of all people should know that those are two words I've never managed to say lightly, Kyoya said to himself. He was more hoping that she would forgive him, hoping that he hadn't already missed the opportunity to make things right with Haruka. For the briefest of moments he thought that maybe she had forgiven him, that maybe she would give him a hug or something that was completely and totally Haruka. But the look in her eyes had been one that he misread. It wasn't a look of possible forgiveness, it was her studying him, his reaction, searching for something. Kyoya was confused as to what she was looking for and it was difficult to stop himself from tightening his grip on her arm, fearing that she was going to wrench her arm away and leave him to stand there. His confusion only deepened when her eyes narrowed and three words slipped out of her mouth. You lying bastard. Surprisingly enough the words stung and Kyoya couldn't stop the frown from appearing on his face.

He didn't know how else to express what he felt and he struggled with keeping the hurt expression from his face. There wasn't any point in showing weakness or how painful her words were to him, especially since it seemed everything he did was a lie. Of course, the majority of everything he did do was a lie. The way he acted with the customers of the Host Club, the way he acted around his own friends and his family. There were only four people who ever really knew Kyoya, and right now, with Haruka thinking of him as nothing but a liar, that only left three, and one of them annoyed the hell out of the youngest Ootori. It seemed has though she wasn't done either as more venomous words left her mouth. Haruka's eyes had hardened, something he had never seen from the girl, and it was hard not to take a step back. Kyoya wanted nothing more than to step away, to stop listening to this girl who so obviously not Haruka. But she is, and it's all because of you that she's like this, part of him said.

His grip on her hand loosened slightly and before he could renew his earlier tightness, she ripped it from his grasp, just as he had been fearing she would do. He did exactly as she told him to do. He didn't go after her, he didn't touch her again, he didn't even bother making another attempt to speak to her as he watched her walk away. A small, minuscule part of Kyoya reminded him that he was on the sidewalk, next to a street of cars, some of which could possibly be people who knew who he was. What would his father say if one of these people informed him that his youngest son was standing on the side of the road with a dumb expression on his face as he stared after a girl? This small part of him slowly expanded, filling Kyoya's thoughts of how his father's disapproval could affect his plans on getting the family business in his hands.

It was ridiculous, after all, to actually think that he was the cause of all the bitterness between them. Kyoya was willing to admit that he hadn't helped the situation any, but surely Haruka had been at fault somewhere along the lines hadn't she? Like not accepting his apology. That in itself was a fool thing to do considering very few people had ever heard those words come from him. It had become obvious that Haruka wasn't going to turn around and Kyoya placed his hands in his pockets, rolling his shoulders back, and turned around on his heel. He had left his notebook and pen back on the picnic table and it was best that he received the item before making his way back to his room.

Tagged:: Haruka
Words:: Idk for sure, but it was short and sucky -_-;;
Notes:: Yeah....that was short >.> ...if you want to you can respond, though I'm about 98% sure that I won't be able to get Kyoya to respond to the thread again T.T ...it is making him sad. If you don't want to respond then I'll lock it and move it.